(urth) Mystery of Ascia

[Son Of Witz]

On Jan 21, 2011, at 5:34 PM, Lee Berman wrote:

>> 
>> Son Of Witz: There is a hot button issue currently about a negative-reinforcement,
>> devaluing parenting philosophy ostensibly practiced by many Chinese-Americans.  
>> Current issue of Time is about it.
> 
> I am married to a Chinese-American and know her family well.  I can testify that this is a real 
> phenomenon I have been aware of for some time. A traditional Chinese family is not the place to 
> be if you want compliments. Excellence is expected but not praised. Engage in the slightest
> bragging and you will be pointedly ignored.
> 
> (I've heard it has been changing back in China, esp. on the wealthy coastal areas where
> the One Child Only policy is actually followed. They tend to treat their one kid in
> the pattern seen among the Japanese, Asian Indians and American Jews- little prince/princesses.)

Interesting. thanks for sharing that. It's something I haven't been exposed to.
I'm getting a really strong sense of retro-empathy for a particular Chinese-American fellow student back in high school. Some things I wondered about his apparent lack of self-esteem when he was constantly trouncing us in the grades dept now seem to make more sense. He never raise his hand in class, always seemed morbidly tense if he had to speak up. I'm wondering now if his parents were Tigers.  I'm not one to say such methods are "wrong"  but I have a real hard time relating. I don't want to treat my boys like princes who can't do wrong, but I do try hard to build their self esteem and sense of ability to maneuver in the world.